Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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