You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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