apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
