In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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