Sry I called you an 8
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
