Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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