just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
