new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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