Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dignity is for republicans.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
