so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
