i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
