So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize