the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He kissed a someone with a penis
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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