Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
