You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
