Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
