i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
