please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
