Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
