Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
