your room smells of hookers.
And success
only if we run a train.
done.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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