I don't think brook has ever known best
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
