Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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