she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
this is an emotional support booty call
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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