I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
