got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
