you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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