I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
