I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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