You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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