Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
