god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
