If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
