so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
