Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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