Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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