my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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