First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it because I queefed?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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