we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
