yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
