Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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