belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
