how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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