You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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