just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize