just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
