Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
