I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
