I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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