Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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