I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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