the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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