you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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