He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
