My room smells like vodka and shame
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
worst night to have a conscience
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
