He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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