I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
