my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize