Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize