if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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