Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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